After a few years of practicing law, I have realized that my law degree is useless and that I don’t want to be a lawyer anymore. I bought it for over $150,000 (brand new), but I will let it go for $112,281, which is the current outstanding amount of my student loan balance.
It measure 8 1/2 x 11 inches. Cum Laude version. It’s printed on super-fancy parchment paper (looks like the Constitution, but newer).
This priceless collectible will permit you to be surrounded by hobby-less, anal assholes whose entire life is dictated by hourly billing and valued by the number of typos they can pick out in any given document. Additionally, this piece of paper has the amazing ability to keep you from doing what you really want to do in life, all in the name of purported prestige and financial success. Finally, superficial girls will swoon over you with retarded thoughts of “sugar daddy” when they hear that you are a lawyer.
Please note that this piece of shit isn’t even written in English. It’s in Latin, but I have the translation.
This is actually a serious post. I will really sell this piece of shit. $112,281 or best offer. E-mail Alex.
It was really here. I wonder how much I could sell my non-cum laude version for And people wonder why I gave it all up to become a software developer!
Thanks for the feedback on Victoria’s tattoo. ¬†I’m pleased with it and the Red Sox socks make me giggle when I see them. ¬† Here’s a picture of the artist, Don, in progress.
Don is a friend of JessaLu’s who details cars. ¬†He did the tat on her Amelia and she arranged for him to come to Tina’s Stitch & Spin this past weekend. ¬†Excellent pictures and summary there. ¬†I again thank Tina for hosting and Jess for reminding me.
I got a bonus in that the folks picked the monkeys up at camp early on Friday and took them directly to the boat.  This meant I could go to the S&S alone.   I had the house to myself Friday night!  It was eerily quiet.  I had a relaxing evening and drove up early Sat morning to meet Jess at a diner in Catskill for breakfast.  Have I mentioned I hate the stupid NY State Thruway?  Well I do.  Two lane highways should be illegal!
Sigh.  Anway, I had a stressful drive up as traffic either flowed way fast or slowed to a crawl for no apparent reason other than a dingbat in a crappy car that was too scared to pass a truck.  Add in that my 2.5 yr old Magellan GPS refused to accept input of an address.  I was free to get assistance to any previously entered address, but any street I tried to input in 3 states were rejected for being invalid.  I had to use the Google nav on my iPhone.  But then again, I had battery issues there and a crappy arsed charger that actually drained the battery.  Grrrr.  After breakfast, Jess and I hit the local Walmart and I picked up a good charger and a new TomTom.
There’s also something about driving in upstate NY that turns my car into a animal killing machine. ¬†In all the years I’ve been driving, I had exactly 2 roadkills. ¬†Now? ¬†The last two trips have doubled that! ¬†Last trip was a ground hog, though if it hadn’t of been my car that took the little guy out, it would have been the 18 wheeler behind me. ¬†This trip? ¬†A bird or two. ¬†Sigh.
Moving along, last week was the Trike-a-thon at school.  Alex completed the most laps for his class at 26 while Kat came in at 22.  The school was able to raise $1,500.
Thanks for the donations!  Random number generator selected JessaLu as the winner of the Malabrigo sock and I was able to hand deliver it to her this past weekend.
The twins will be participating in a trike-a-thon to benefit St. Jude Children’s Hospital on June 24th (I know, I just got the form!).
If you would be interested in sponsoring them, either through a fixed donation amount or a per lap amount, please either email me at (risa AT crazyfiberlady DOT com) or leave a comment to this post. ¬†Or you could send a paypal to ¬†me at (risaphil AT gmail DOT com). ¬†Please make sure you don’t choose the option to pay for goods. ¬†We’d like as much $$ to go to the charity and not paypal’s fees.
I offer up a skein of Malabrigo Sock in Boticelli Red to be randomly drawn from those who donate
If we get enough sponsors, I could probably dig up a few more prizes, maybe even some handspun.
I know I went quiet there. ¬†I’ve been busy and still am. ¬†This will be a quick one. ¬†Between the normal business that I’ve had (work, kids, knitting, spinning) there’s the new busy of the gym. ¬†My membership came with an hour session with a personal trainer. ¬†I had this session on Saturday. ¬†I’m finally moving again without too much pain ¬†
A WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
 Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, a lthough my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
 ________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
 _______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
 Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
 My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other sh*t too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
A**hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late – it took me that long to tie my shoes.
 He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny b*tch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
¬†Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!¬†
Except mine’s name is Rafael ¬†I’m seeing him again Saturday morning for a 30 min session. ¬†Hopefully no migraine after this visit as I’m planning on going to ¬†Clermont.
I have photos to show and updates to talk about, however the photos are on the dSLR which is home and I’m not. And I have lots to do at work. Here’s a quickie quiz. Not entirely sure what it says about me and if I like it:
Your rainbow is slightly shaded red.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What is says about you: You are a passionate person. You appreciate energetic people. You get bored easily and want friends who will keep up with you.
Beyond that, I just had to post this. It was filmed a couple of weeks ago during my SnB at MY. Sadly, the store is closing and ironically this aired Friday morning after our last SnB. {sniff, sniff}
Working in the building next to AIG’s Water Street location has been interesting recently. News trucks are common these days. I noticed this morning that they removed their name from the front of the building. A security guard was plainly visible outside the door and a NYPD car stationed in front.
SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 85 of these films, you have no life.
There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own blog, paste this. Then, put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total:4
(x) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(  ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 6
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 6
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 12
(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 15
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG (The Original)
Total so far: 20
( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber [the original]
Total so far: 23
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 24
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
total so far: 26
( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
( ) Ocean’s Eleven
( ) Ocean’s Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 28
(x) Independence Day
(x ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 32
( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far:40
(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday (the original)
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 47
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
(x) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 50
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 56
( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
(x) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 57
( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung *** Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willa74
Total so far: 60
( ) High Tension (Haute Tension)
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
( ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( x ) Waterworld
Total so far: 62
( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 62
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 68
(x ) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x ) Silence of the Lambs
(  ) Hannibal
Total: 74
 
I’m sure this has been making its way around the blogosphere, but I just saw it here on Nancy’s blog. ¬†I’ve seen alot of those movies, but thankfully, still have a life! ¬†Notice I stay away from the horror genre?
And people wonder why I gave it all up to become a software developer!
